I know someone is going to recommend I buy a new cable here, so let me get this out of the way. I plan on buying a new cable, I just want to exhaust every option while I wait for some money.
I built a cable using a pinout picture. I soldered a Stereo 3.5mm (1/8") headphone connector to a DB9 female connector, and used wire from a previously working serial mouse. Heres the picture: